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Thoughts For Thursday: You Reap What You Sow

November 3, 2011 · 17 comments

in Parenting, Thoughts For Thursday, Work

Recently, I was at CVS picking up some ibuprofen when I saw two kids who appeared to be about eight running around.

While I was standing in line, one of the boys pulled out his iPhone and started playing a game.  I looked at what he was buying and his little basket contained a can of Monster energy drink, a big bag of Swedish Fish, and a Hershey bar.

I was wondering what this child’s behavior would be like after he ingested all the items he bought.  Images of Beavis (from Beavis and Butthead) popped into my head when I pictured the scene.  My next thought was, “how would the parents react?   Would they scream at him”?

This little observation made me think about life in general.  How often do people blame others for their circumstances when they themselves are at least partially to blame?   If this little kid came home, slammed his Monster energy drink and had some Swedish Fish as a chaser, do you think the parents screamed at the kid when he was bouncing off the walls? Or, do you think they were patient and said “well, we did give him free reign to go to the store and buy whatever he wanted while we sat and watched college football all afternoon.  Let’s give him a break and have a talk with him when he settles down”?  I am guessing the former is the more likely scenario.

Maybe You Will Think Of the Little Kid Drinking Monster Next Time You Are In A Bad Situation

So, next time you find yourself in less-than-ideal circumstances, even if it is as simple as dealing with a poorly behaved child, pause and think honestly about how you got to that point.  Obviously, some situations are just plain bad luck.  However, often times, both good and bad circumstances are caused by a long history of certain actions.  If you spoiled your child for years, don’t expect them to suddenly accept hearing the word ‘no’ with grace, even if you are out in public.   If you find that other people are always getting promoted when you feel you ‘deserve it more’, then step back and think about why you aren’t getting promoted instead of just saying your boss hates you.   If you are someone that rarely helps someone out, don’t be surprised when people suddenly aren’t available to help you one day.  Life is full of connections.  Call it karma, call it social responsibility, call it whatever you want.  Most of our actions are all tied together, and quite often, events are not just random.

The fact that my kids all have messy rooms though is the exception to the cause-and-effect rule.  Must be a genetic flaw or something, because I keep the house spotless…

 

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Niki November 3, 2011 at 6:38 am

I wonder about whiners. How does that happen to a person? How does one grow up whining or blaming others without being told by a parent or loved one how horrible they sound. Or without being told to take responsibility for their own actions. I know we all have our whining moments but it seems like a more common personality trait then a momentary pity party.

Wait, now I am whining about whiners. Geesh!

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Kris November 3, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Niki, I whine about whiners too. I think I get sick of people though that act like they are helpless to fix their bad situation, when things may truly be in their control. I can’t listen to that kind of whining, and I am even more tired of it now than I was when I was younger.

We will whine about whiners together.

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Holly November 3, 2011 at 8:36 am

It’s funny but I was thinking about this just this morning while dropping my kids off at school.

I decided that instead of muttering to myself and complaining about all of the bad drivers on the road, I would try to not be in such a hurry all of the time; and that I don’t necessarily need to be cutting in front of the slower drivers or always racing through the yellow/orange/red light.

Many times we have only ourselves to blame…

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Kris November 3, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Nice reflection Holly, thanks for sharing.

I get the same way in traffic though. I have gotten more patient though now that I have teen drivers. So many drivers are horrible and start beeping if my newly driving daughter doesn’t whip out in traffic soon enough or whatever. Not everyone is a seasoned driver, so I try to give people a break more now that I see the other side of the coin.

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First Gen American November 3, 2011 at 8:39 am

Yes, much of my kid’s behavior is more about how I treat them vs the other way around. They are horrible when I skip naps and feed them too much junk or let them get overtired.

I wish the people who really needed this advice listened to it. It seems like the complainers only see the taking you do vs the giving. When people help you out, they get jealous but they’re blind to when you lend a helping hand to others. They just think you’re lucky.

It’s really a pet peeve when people play the blame game. Even if you’re boss is horrible, you still have control over where you work. You can job hunt or transfer within your company or do something to get out of the situation you are in…either that or accept it as the lesser of the evils and move on.

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Kris November 3, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Totally agree with ya Sandy!

By the way, the lack of sleep and hunger issues do not stop when the kids get older. I have found that teens get grumpy for the same reason and now that I think about it, so do 44 year olds.

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Roshawn @ Watson Inc November 3, 2011 at 8:40 am

It is a law of life, but it doesn’t happen all at once. Sometimes people just don’t think about the consequences of their actions because of the disconnect between their actions and the results.

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Kris November 3, 2011 at 1:19 pm

I do think many people just lack the ability to be self aware. Either they are so narcissistic that they just feel flawless, or maybe they don’t care. However, I wish more people did see the cause and effect relationship

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Jenna, Adaptu Community Manager November 3, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Love the new layout! Great job, Jesse.
Blah, 8 year olds with Monster and iPhones – gross.

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Kris November 3, 2011 at 1:17 pm

He may have only been 7, I was being generous with the age. The whole scene was disturbing.

Thanks for the kind layout words.

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Krantcents November 3, 2011 at 1:51 pm

I have 40 of those kids in my classes every period. They act like they have attention deficit disorder (ADD). Bad behavior inhibits learning. I spend a great deal of time repeating instructions, disciplining the students and reminding them of what I said. Parents should think about the consequences of bad parenting on their kids. Right now it is affecting school. Sooner or later these individuals will enter the workplace.

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retirebyforty@retireby40.org November 3, 2011 at 3:53 pm

I hear you. There is no way I would let my kid drink energy drinks. The most I’ve had when I was growing up was Coke. Why does a kid need energy drink? They are already full of energy!

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Money Reasons November 3, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Lol, I’m betting the parents are hardly home and the kids have free reign over the house. The parents are probably the type that would literally let the kids get away with murder, and only when it affect them do they explode (my neighbors behind my house is like that… grrr).

That said, I totally agree with your message, All to often I see kids getting yelled at for something that the parents set in motion without even realizing it. I admit, I’ve made this horrible mistake in the past too, but now I’m a bit quicker and think about whey happened that ticked me off before I come down on my kids. Maybe (just maybe), I’m getting wiser and more patient as I strive to become a better parent.

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Barb Friedberg November 13, 2011 at 6:59 pm

We had an interesting dinner conversation the other night trying to figure out which holds more importance; nature or nurture. I act as though I have lots of control, even when it’s not completely so.

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Kris November 15, 2011 at 8:59 am

The older I get, the more I believe in nature (to a degree). I do think it is a combination though, and certain personalities can really be affected by a lack of nurture!

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