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Thoughts For Thursday: I Hate School

October 28, 2010 · 36 comments

in Life, Thoughts For Thursday

Want to know how you can tell my kids have been back in school for awhile?  Come into my house and you can see it pretty quickly.  No, it isn’t the art projects on the walls- it is my not-so-charming disposition.   In the summer, I am fun mom that is up for anything.  Once fall comes, I am more drill-sergeant mom, that you could call ‘anything but-fun mom’ at times.

As a mom, I have always hated school.  Now that the kids are older, I hate it even more.  Why do I hate it you may ask?  Well, one reason is it cuts into our fun time as a family.  But, another reason is I turn into a raving nagaholic, and it is exhausting.  The kids have more homework, their school sports programs are more demanding, and my finely-tuned plans all end up falling apart.

For example, this past week, my kids had numerous tests, plus their sports.  They got home later, had to shower and eat, and then finally nestled into homework.  Next thing you know, it is 11:00 and I have barely said a word to the kids, unless I was helping with math or something.  I feel so disconnected from them at times like this.  We actually took the time to sit outside and look at the stars (the minor meteor shower ‘Orionids’ were going on, but only saw a few of them), but that meant they didn’t get to bed until 11:30.  Sure it was great to chat with them again, but then I had 3 kids that didn’t want to get up in the morning.  My youngest was racing around packing overnight clothes for a birthday party, and of course, he forgot his inhaler.  So, I had to go up to the school to drop that off to him.  That doesn’t seem like much, but I was in the middle of cleaning my home office, which I have been putting off forever.

The bottom line is, school ruins the flow of our house.  I have to constantly nag and remind everyone all the time because they have so much going on- they can’t remember everything perfectly.  I am sick of saying “you have to go to bed NOW” (along with “you have to get up NOW”).  It feels like we are five people drifting around the house, all having independent lives.

So, now I am tasked with making new rules and being mean because our schedule is totally ruined, and the kids have got to get back on track.  It is a roller coaster ride for sure, and it will get easier soon, for a while at least.  But, being a parent can be hard when you want to say ‘yeah, just stay up late and lets play a game’!  That is my nature, and I have to fight it.

What are your back to school struggles?  Or does the transition to school just go smoothly?

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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

Dianna October 28, 2010 at 7:48 am

That’s what you get for being so fun during the summer. If you nag all year long, it’s not so much of an adjustment! jk 🙂 It is hard finding fun family time during all of the school stuff…luckily, the kids haven’t had too much homework and we’re not as involved in sports as you are. Our biggest struggle though is keeping a 4 yr old who doesn’t have homework occupied while trying to help the other kids do their homework. He’s missed them all day and just wants to play!

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Kris October 28, 2010 at 8:15 am

Dianna- Believe me, nagging still happens in the summer, it is just more about going to bed than getting out of bed!

You could always let that 4 year old play with the other kids when they get home from school, then start homework once your husband is home from work! (Or make him handle it all and you just relax and have a glass of wine…)

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Dianna October 28, 2010 at 2:42 pm

I like that idea! Will start working on it! (The wine part, at least!)

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The Biz of Life October 28, 2010 at 7:56 am

It the most wonderful time of the year…… as that office supply commercial goes. From my point of view, the less idle time they have, the less trouble they can get into. So I love it when school is back in session and everyone is fully occupied with their activities.

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Kris October 28, 2010 at 8:17 am

Biz – I guess I am the opposite. I love summer and downtime. However, I do miss watching them play in their sports in the summer.

I just hate having to be crabby!

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The Biz of Life October 28, 2010 at 8:32 am

My comments are made half in jest, but with teenagers it is worth something to keep them occupied and away from temptation. Drinking and drugs are big teenage activities in my area, and the busier the kids are the less idle time they have to get pulled into those kinds of things.

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Kris October 28, 2010 at 8:43 am

Biz – I knew what you meant! 🙂 I totally agree that keeping them busy definitely helps keep them out of trouble. That is part of why I always wanted my kids involved in sports. The downside is I have some tired kids that don’t always want to get up in the morning!

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Nicole October 28, 2010 at 8:03 am

Ours is still in year round preschool. So no adjustment.

I cannot nag. After I say something twice, the third time is going to be either punishment or they get to deal with the results of their actions (or non-action). This means I’m not so great with getting coauthors to work and leads to kicking out free-loaders and firing incompetent subordinates (I should have put “having to nag” as a pet peeve, because it really is). So hopefully little DS will be responsible or he’s going to miss a lot of school and other things.

Growing up, because of my parents’ work schedule, I often had to get myself up and to school (which was in walking distance all but grades 5 and 6). I had it down to a science to allow me the most sleep possible. My sister, OTOH, had my parents there in the mornings for school and she got nagged. And dragged herself out of bed. And took forever to get ready. She’d often get driven if she put things off long enough. Sometimes I wonder if she’d had to get her stuff on her own like I did if she’d have not needed the nagging to get going.

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Kris October 28, 2010 at 8:37 am

Nicole- I think the bigger problem with the kids is they are exhausted. I have a hard time getting up myself when I am whipped. I do agree that my kids would probably get up better if I just made them set an alarm and I stayed in the background, and maybe I will resort to that.

I think MY biggest problem is that I miss them!

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sherie October 28, 2010 at 8:32 am

I use to feel the way you do about school and summer, but I’m finding the opposite to be true these days. During the school year, we are more organized and focused and on a schedule so we sit down together to eat, and spend time together doing homework or hanging out in the evening – even if it’s just to watch a tv show together.

In the summer, my kids are all over the place with friends and sleepovers and they like to stay up really late and sleep all day. Since they don’t have to have a routine during the summer, it requires way to much nagging to get them on any type of schedule and the free time actually causes us to forget appointments and stuff. As for the school year, it takes a week to get back on schedule, but they are pretty good about it. I don’t nag about school work or bed anymore – I just let them suffer the consequences of their own actions. If they don’t do their homework, they fail. If they don’t go to bed they are tired the next day. If they don’t get up for school, they are late and there are repercussions dealt by the school.

I use to spend a lot of time fighting with everyone to get them to do what they had to do (get up for school, etc), but once I made it their responsibility, it’s been much better for all of us, and I can enjoy the few minutes in the morning having breakfast with them, or driving them to school. Now that we aren’t as rushed and I don’t have to be the mean old nag, I’m not crabby about it.

I think we are all much happier during the school year because it gives us a regular schedule to follow – nevertheless, we appreciate the weekends and holidays so we can sleep in or vary the schedule somewhat. My advice is to make it their responsibility and relax… they may have a few tardies or miss a few assignments but as long as there are consequences for their actions, they will learn from it and adjust. If there are no consequences, then you can’t blame them for not rushing. I never had a schedule or anyone to check on homework, etc. so I instituted my own bed time and got myself up and ready for school on time and made it to the bus, did my homework, etc. – and I started doing it at 5! You are a great mom and your kids are blessed, but they are smarter than most adults and capable of being more independent, but they will get away with as much as they possibly can.

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Kris October 28, 2010 at 8:42 am

Sherie- Two thirds are actually quite independent. It is the one third that struggles… 🙂

Now that two are in high school, I cannot believe the amount of homework and studying I see going on. I think I cut them more of a break because I know how hard they are working. They don’t spend any time playing video games or anything during the week, it is almost all either sports or class related. They are truly exhausted. High school is so much different now than when I went to school.

One solution that did work this morning on the sleepy 1/3 of my children… I told him if he wasn’t out of bed in 30 seconds, he wasn’t driving to school. That worked like a charm!

I think I miss my trips to the beach and such that we do in the summer as much as anything…

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First Gen American October 28, 2010 at 9:31 am

No major change here as we don’t get the summer off..kids will be in daycare or camp same as the rest of the year. It’s kind of a bummer when I think about it, but hopefully the camps will be cool.

It is insane all the time. I was hugging my little 2 year old this morning (he still likes to be held) and I just didn’t want that to end today. Seems like we don’t have enough of those moments lately.

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Kris October 28, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Sandy – it is so true that life gets in the way of our fun. Now that school has started, my time with my kids has dropped dramatically. I just try to make the most of the free time they have, but they have social lives too. So I get conversations when I can!

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Squirrelers October 28, 2010 at 11:57 am

I can relate to not wanting the fun to end. I love just talking to my daughter (7yrs) and hearing about all that’s on her mind. As a guy, I never gave thought to the notion that I would get older and be a dad with A) a daughter, B) an interest in hearing everything that my daughter has to say. The thing is, I love everything about it. There will be a day, probably sooner that I like, that she’s filter what she tells me. Which is probably good with certain things. But I love being there for her and helping her be confident in herself. So…when summer’s over, it’s kind of a bummer, I can relate.

However, for me personally, I embrace the school year as well. I do enjoy her going to school to learn, socialize, etc. There’s something totally wholesome about a little kid going to elementary school and having a weekday schedule. I didn’t like it as a kid, but for some reason I do now. There’s less time now, as kids can’t stay up later during the school year, but for whatever reason, I like much of the school year too.

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Kris October 28, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Squirreler – elementary school didn’t bother me as much. I could still go on field trips and they had a lot of free time after school so you could cram things in easily. High school is a totally different animal. Life is still great, but it is different. The kids don’t just have to adapt to school, but I do too.

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Invest It Wisely October 28, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Haha, not looking so forward to those days again. I do wish education wasn’t so institutionalized. Reading & writing is important, but so is being a kid and playing and messing around.

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Kris October 28, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Kevin – you are so right. I don’t know how a teen has time to have a part time job with the heavy workload. (Unless it is strictly a weekend job.) I had it so much easier!

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Dale - Kids Birthday Party Entertainer October 28, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Be happy that they are in school. My 3 year old is really bored at home.:)

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Kris October 28, 2010 at 1:38 pm

Dale – I guess it just depends on the situation. I do know it can be hard to keep kids busy at home, especially if they are high-energy kids.

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Suba @ Wealth Informatics October 28, 2010 at 4:04 pm

I hated it when “I” was in school, the competition is even more brutal in India (from my “outside” perspective, I don’t have kids yet, so its friends/cousins kids that I know). Not looking forward to being on the other side of the fence. Education is very important, so is letting kids be kids… don’t know how I will handle it when the time comes. Will come to you for suggestions 😉

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Everyday Tips October 28, 2010 at 9:29 pm

Suba – It is definitely a hard balance, especially as they get older. I am sure the competition is tougher in India (and probably China), so I can’t imagine how kids handle it all in those countries.

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Roshawn @ Watson Inc October 28, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Well, I certainly sympathize with you although I never thought of it that way (no children). I’m sorry you are going through. I guess this may be part of the reason for why some people home-school even though I sure that has its own problems too.

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Everyday Tips October 28, 2010 at 9:30 pm

Hey Shawn- I did contemplate home-schooling at one point, but I am glad that I did send my kids to school in the end. I can just see where kids (and parents) burn out sometimes. I am just trying to find a balance right now I guess.

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Money Reasons October 28, 2010 at 6:21 pm

I only serve as backup for my wife when she’s having problems. I also server as a anger diverter. As you know, I’m all about my kids, so it I can defuse a situation, I do so…

Since I’m at work the entire day, I don’t miss the kids so much…

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Everyday Tips October 28, 2010 at 9:32 pm

MR – I am sure if I worked outside the home, I would have a different set of frustrations- like how in the world to get everything done, and get to everywhere everyone needs to go. But, I am sure I wouldn’t be missing them as much since I would be used to be gone all day anyway.

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Crystal @ BFS October 28, 2010 at 8:27 pm

I hate school because my husband isn’t availble to hang with as much or run errands for us – he’s a school librarian. He leaves at 6:50am, gets home no earlier than 6pm or even 9-10pm the nights he refs highschool sports. Stupid school…

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Everyday Tips October 28, 2010 at 9:32 pm

BFS – We can all hate school but for different reasons!

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Lindy Mint October 29, 2010 at 12:18 pm

I hear you on this one. I turn into the drill seargent during the school year to get my dawdlers out the door on time, to get dinner eaten, homework done, toys picked up. I think it’s more exhausting for me because it’s not my personality to control other people, even my own kids. I’m looking forward to when they get older and they can be more responsible for their own actions. At first grade, tardies and forgotten homework reflects more on the parents than the kids, so it’s hard to make it sink in.

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Kris October 29, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Lindy Mint – you are very right, you do have to be on top of things with a first grader or the teacher will ostracize you! A child that age can never take care of everything themselves, so you have to help. My kids are much older, but I still have to help because there is so much going on. I can’t even keep it all straight, so I can’t imagine how hard it is for them.

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