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Thoughts For Thursday: A Time Of Reflection

April 25, 2013 · 14 comments

in Thoughts For Thursday

Life has been busy here in our household.  It has been a crazy year with starting our own business, sending a child off to college, and managing all the other things that come along in life.

Whereas I have spoken previously about the lessons learned from starting a business, I wanted to share some of the things I have learned about life in general over the past year, such as:

Mere Mortals Cannot Control Life

I love control.  I crave control.  The unfortunate thing for someone like me is that I really do not have much control over anything.  No matter how much I want to create a perfect outcome, I just cannot.  Not only is it exhausting to formulate elaborate plans to ensure the world will all work according to plan, but it is an exercise in futility.  Many things in life will happen as they do, regardless of my or anyone elses wishes.  Of course, planning is a very good thing, I am not saying that everyone should toss aside all responsibility.   What should be tossed aside is the need to control things you don’t have any real influence over.

You Don’t Have To Go It Alone

I have always had an independent streak, and tackling problems single-handedly was just how life was done.  Problem is, facing the world alone can lead to burnout, regardless of what the task is.  Chances are, we all have people around us who are willing to help, if only we would let them.   I learned that asking for or allowing others to help does not have to equate with weakness.  After all, most often the giver receives just as much as the receiver, if not more…

Today Is A Gift In Itself

At this moment, I have the ability to do so much, and share my day with people I care so deeply about.  That is a wonderful thing.  Quite often though, people ‘live’ in the future or the past, and the present just passes them by.  In reality, why would anyone want to squander the precious moments that are occuring right now to spend time in some ‘future’ that may or may not come to pass- or in a past time that is just a compilation of perceptions about some previous event?  The desire to control/predict the future can rob people of these moments if they are not careful.  (Disclaimer- I need some work in this area… :) )

Enjoy Those You Are With

One thing that I have realized is that interacting with others is incredibly important to me (even more so that I thought).  When I worked from home and the kids were at school, I think I just stagnated.  Once I started working out of the house and ‘getting out’ there again, I realized how much I truly missed people.   Whereas I have always enjoyed my relationships with others, I see that quite often I was rushed because of my tight time constraints.   I have prioritized things differently now though so I can spend real time with people without worrying about where I need to be next (not perfect here…).  If I could give advice to others in this area, it would be to truly focus on the people you are with.  When talking with someone really listen, don’t just look for a break in the conversation so you can get your story in.  Enjoy those you spend time with, whether it is your child or your next door neighbor.  In other words, don’t waste your time worrying about everything else that should be getting done while you are in conversation.  Life will always be full of endless tasks that need to be done, so you don’t really accomplish much by tuning out and planning for some other event.  However, you could really be missing out on something great if you don’t pay attention to what is right in front of you.

Live!

We are all on this earth for a short period of time.  Make the most of what you have!  Create dreams for your future but enjoy what you are doing at this very moment.  Don’t worry about all the things you could or should be doing, but think about what you ARE doing instead.  Find a balance between being a responsible adult and following your own passions.  Life does not have to just be about work and tasks.  It is also about caring for yourself and others.  Try not to get caught up in only the problems of the day, but also focus on the opportunities in front of you.  There really is so much to life, we just have to open our eyes and see all that the world has to offer!

 

 

 

 

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Joe April 25, 2013 at 11:59 am

Wow, you have been so busy this year. How is the business going? It must take up all of your time.
I agree that living in the present is good. Our time is limited and we need to enjoy it while we can.
I wonder if I will feel the same way once our kid starts school. I’m sure I’ll stay busy somehow.
Joe recently posted..Should you help your aging parents financially?

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Kris April 25, 2013 at 10:33 pm

Hey Joe,
It has been busy, but the business part has been interesting. There are a lot of little details you don’t really ever think about until you have your own business. I mentioned this in a previous post, but hiring out people to do certain things makes a huge difference in terms of making it all manageable. Especially when it comes to taxes and legal items. (Sure you are personally already familiar with much of this since you work for yourself now.)

Regarding when your little guy heads off to school, I have one small piece of advice: Plan for it ahead of time. I think I struggled with this transition when my youngest went to school because I was unprepared. Sure I filled each day with a lot of things that needed to get done, but I kind of languished in the process. I say, take care of the day-to-day things you need to, but also take the time to pursue things you always wanted to. It’s all about balance. You are resourceful though and I have no doubt you will fill your days with great things. You have already accomplished so much with your own business, so you may just find yourself expanding even more.

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Joe April 26, 2013 at 11:55 am

Thanks for the tips. I’ll try to get him into part time co-op preschool this coming year. It will just be 2-3 days a week so it will give me a chance to transition.
I’m so happy to hear you are getting back into the swing of things. Children can really take over your life. :)
Joe recently posted..Defensive Investments To Weather A Stock Market Correction

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Avari August 26, 2014 at 4:44 am

Real brain power on dialspy. Thanks for that answer!

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First Gen American April 25, 2013 at 3:05 pm

I really missed your posts. This is great advice especially with all the change I’m going through right now. Thank you and keep writing.
First Gen American recently posted..Babci’s Revenge

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Kris April 25, 2013 at 10:36 pm

Sandy,
Thank you for your kind words. I have missed being around, that is for sure.

Much of your change is great change, and I am waiting for that new house of yours to turn into a bed and breakfast. (I bet many would come just for the homemade jelly and a chance to meet Babci.)

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Jacq April 25, 2013 at 9:28 pm

I second Sandy’s comment – you are missed!

Yeah, life is a very fun and amusing game sometimes more than anything. And sometimes it just needs more cowbell. :-P

Re. the kids growing up – it’s so weird, isn’t it? Especially to learn that you can’t control them any more – and resistance is futile. LOL I just can’t fathom not learning life lessons through parenting – that giving up of control, being happy with “good enough”, seeing yourself in them as they grow. What a blessing
Jacq recently posted..I’m in love. His name is Joshua Kennon.

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Kris April 25, 2013 at 11:10 pm

Thank you too Jacq- I have missed all you guys!

It is odd when the kids start to get older and you have to adjust as a parent. As you said, you have to let go of some of that control and let them develop their own independence (no matter how much you may need to bite your tongue sometimes!). It is amazing how quickly the time passes- it seems like yesterday when they were all home with me as little ones. I used to think that the toddler years were the best because we could all spend time together and do whatever we wanted every single day. However, watching their lives unfold as they have gotten older and having adult conversations with them is a gift too. It is all part of a wonderful journey that I never imagined could be so good.

Life is like a game, you are right. Sometimes it is like a game of chess where you feel like you have more control and can actually make intelligent decisions and maybe influence the future. Other times it is more like a game of Candy Land, where the drawing of a random card determines your next step. Personally, I prefer chess, but Candy Land has its positives too.

Thanks for stopping by!

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101 Centavos April 27, 2013 at 8:06 pm

Glad to see you posting again, Kris. I can picture, but not quite imagine the stress of sending a kiddo out to college. We’re just barely managing them growing up into semi-surly teenagers that think they’re too cool to hug. It’s OK, of course, but we don’t have to like it :-)

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Kris April 28, 2013 at 4:49 pm

Hey Andrew!
It is good to be back! Gotta remember to just not focus on things I have to do but gotta do what I want to do sometimes too.

Glad those boys of yours are just semi-surly. Once they are old enough drive and need your truck, they might even return to being nice, even if it is in just 15 minute increments. :)

The time does fly. The college adjustment was tough (for me) for awhile, but I guess I got used to it. He will be back home next week though, which is great.

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Little House April 29, 2013 at 10:11 am

Sounds like it’s been one heck of a year for you so far. I definitely agree, enjoy the present moments – they’re fleeting. I’m guilty of this myself. I also agree with Sandy, you’re missed in the blog world.

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Kris April 29, 2013 at 9:36 pm

Thanks so much Little House! It has been a heck of a year for sure, but definitely interesting.

Living life one moment at a time can be a challenge, but it can be so rewarding. Just today I was watching my youngest son’s baseball game and I just sat back and noticed just how wonderful the sun felt, how nice it was to hear the people cheering, how green the grass was getting… Each day provides so many wonderful moments if we all just take a second to step back and pay attention.

I hope things are going great for you!

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Evan April 29, 2013 at 2:57 pm

Hope you are back for good Kris! Fantastic to hear from you.

What type of business did you start?
Evan recently posted..Is Anyone Stupid Enough to Care if a CEO’s Salary is $1?

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Kris April 29, 2013 at 9:58 pm

Hey Evan!
I plan to be back for good- thanks for your kind words!

Our company provides people solutions, primarily in the accounting and finance space. So, if a company needs a new CFO, we will find one. If they have a special project they need done but don’t have the expertise, we will manage the project- that kind of thing.

Thanks for visiting!

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