This past week, my son had a soccer game at the high school of the city I grew up in.

Feeling Nostalgic About Childhood

I grew up in a somewhat small city that is located on the northern border of Detroit.  The streets are lined with huge trees, and the houses are generally smaller bungalows.  The neighborhoods are loaded with parks, and the city still provides leaf removal (if leaves are swept out to the curb), and if you put out a bucket in the winter, the city will fill it with rock salt to be used on sidewalks.

Anyway, during halftime of the soccer game, I got out of the stands and walked around a little bit.  I walked past 3 different people I did not know, and each one of them smiled at me and said hello.  It was such a small thing, but it made me miss my small town.

Driving home, I thought about how different my hometown is compared to where I live now.    The city I live in now has no character, and I live on a cul-de-sac where we barely know our neighbors.  Generally, people come home from work, pull up to their mailbox to grab the mail, pull in to their attached the garage, and shut the garage door without talking to a soul.  In comparison, most of the homes in the city I grew up in didn’t even have garages, and you knew the mailman because he actually walked up to your house each day.  (One thing I don’t miss is how close the houses were to each other though.  I will never forget one day I wasn’t feeling well and I was laying in bed on a summer day.  It was so hot out, and I rolled over to face the window, hoping to catch a breeze.  I was shocked when I then almost came face to face with my neighbor, who was standing right outside my window and was checking to see if I was ok.  I am sure there is a balance somewhere in the middle where neighbors all knew each other and helped each other out, but maybe didn’t linger just inches away.)

In addition, our current home is located in a suburb that doesn’t have many conveniences nearby.  Grocery shopping is about a mile away, which isn’t bad, but people generally drive to the store.  On the other hand, in my childhood, we walked or rode our bikes everywhere.  There was party stores at the end of many streets, and the ‘downtown’ area had a Kresge, a drug store, and a restaurant called “Wein-R-Bun”.  What’s not to love about that?  (Could have the spelling wrong on the hot dog place…)  Anyway, kids and adults walked everywhere, talking to people along the way.

A Synopsis:  Reasons Why People Are Getting More Isolated In Their Own Neighborhoods

The following is an overview of the reasons why ‘communities’ do not seem to exist like they did in previous decades, based on my observations and absolutely no scientific facts:

1. Remote Control Garage Door Openers.  With a click of a button, people can avoid all of humankind by just shutting their garage door as soon as it can come down without taking off the rear bumper of their vehicle.  At least in the old days, even if you had a garage, you had to be seen by others because you had to manually close your garage door.
2. More Two Car Families.  When I was growing up, many households had just one car.  That meant that mom (usually) and the kids all walked to where they had to go, and generally stayed somewhat close to home.  If you wanted to hang out with someone other than your siblings, you had to become friends with neighborhood kids.  The option for mom to drop you off at a location miles away did not exist.
3. Starbucks.  No longer do neighbors collect to have coffee and discuss the latest events of the neighborhood.  Now, people want premium coffee, so they hop in their cars to sit and have a cup of coffee work on their computer.
4. Technology.  With Skype, texting, email, Xbox Live, and more, you don’t ever have to sit face-to-face with someone anymore.  You can just type to communicate, or talk through a camera on your computer.  Kids don’t need to get together to play a board game.  They can just log on to their Xbox Live account and talk to their friends through the TV while they blow each other up during a friendly game of ‘Call of Duty’.

As I have mentioned in a few posts before, I enjoy watching TV while walking on my treadmill in the morning.  Besides getting some exercise, I get the chance to watch some TV shows that I might not ordinarily watch.

So recently, I have been watching ‘Desperate Housewives’.   Of course, I recognize it is television, but I so envy that neighborhood.  Let me restate that, I don’t envy the crime and infidelity, but I envy the beautiful homes and the rapport amongst the neighbors.  (Most of the time…)

I live in a pleasant town that is very safe and has wonderful parks and schools.   When we bought our current house, which is on a cul-de-sac, I envisioned wonderful block parties and neighborly chats in the front yard while the kids played.  Instead, what I found out after I moved in was that all the kids on the street were already grown up and the neighbors  pretty much keep to themselves.  I guess when you buy a house, you never really know what you are getting into.  Sure you can drive around and see how many kids are at the bus stop and such, but unless you know someone that lives on that street, you are kind of moving in ‘blind’.

However, there is also the flip-side of the coin; I could have ended up with a really friendly neighbor that drove me insane, always showing up at my doorstep to share some useless tidbit.   I have seen plenty of crazy neighbors in my life, so quiet can also have it’s place I suppose.

Since so many women work nowadays, do the idyllic neighborhoods as shown on television really exist in many places anymore?   (I am not implying that working women are ruining neighborhoods, I am just saying that often times, nobody is even home during the day.)   I mean, who wouldn’t want to enjoy coffee on the front porch with best friends along with weekly poker games?  All I know is that where I live, the environment is the polar opposite.  How about you?  Do you live in the perfect neighborhood?  Share your situation and make me envious!