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Happy 20th Anniversary!!!

June 21, 2011 · 29 comments

in Life

This is going to be an unusually personal blog post today.  It is long too, so don’t feel like you have to read all the way through it…

As you can tell from the title, today is a very special day for me- it is my 20th wedding anniversary!

I cannot believe how quickly these 20 years have gone by.  In a way, I still feel like my 23 year old newlywed-self, but in another way, I finally feel like a grown up.

The Wedding

We got married a week after my husband graduated from college (I had graduated 3 months prior.  Those months gave me time to get a nice tan for the wedding, while he was stuck inside the classroom all day.  I think he is still harboring a grudge over how pale he looked next to me in the wedding photos, but I digress…).  It was crazy planning a wedding while I was living in a college dorm, but it was fun too.

Our whole wedding process was very traditional in that we did what everyone else was doing at the time.  I had a bachelorette party the weekend before, and he had a bachelor party.  We had the rehearsal dinner the night before the ceremony, and the Deacon didn’t really even know my name.  (The Priest wouldn’t marry us because I wouldn’t become Catholic, but the Deacon would.)  We made wedding favors, complete with Jordan almonds.   By the way, I have never understood the popularity of those teeth-breaking almonds.  I don’t even like how they taste, yet I still used them, probably because I thought that is what you were supposed to do.

The wedding itself was on a Friday night.  We chose Friday because that way, the reception could be right after our Catholic wedding, and the dinner at the reception was 3 dollars cheaper per plate than it would be if we had it on a Saturday night.  Cheap=Good!  We did the traditional bible readings, had aqua blue bridesmaid dresses (why didn’t anyone tell me how ugly they were???), and had a pretty standard wedding.  I believe 109 people or so attended, and it was a good time.

However, I don’t really think about the wedding much anymore.  What I think about more is the wonderful years that we have shared.

Post Wedding Life

We started out with nothing.  Well actually, we started out with less than nothing because I had plenty of debt from student loans and credit cards (I had to put some of my grad school costs on a credit card, which was awful).  However, we found an affordable apartment in a safe city, and we had a great time.  We had 2 solid incomes, friends and family nearby, and an open area behind the apartment complex to take walks and play frisbee.  It didn’t matter that we didn’t have a fancy house or a giant TV.  We had each other to talk to each night, and someone to create and share dreams with.

Here Come the Kids

After 2 years, I got pregnant and we bought our first house.  We were so excited!  I couldn’t even tell my husband I was pregnant for a few days because he was studying for the CPA and I didn’t want to distract him.  So I kept this secret to myself and was about ready to burst when he finally got home from taking that darn exam.  It was a scary but very exciting time.  There is nothing like seeing a positive pregnancy test, what a wonderful thing that can be!

The minute my son was born, it was like a switch was flipped inside of me.  I suddenly had no desire to go back to work and I just wanted to stay at home with my son.  It was funny because  I had previously always pictured myself to be a career person that would somehow integrate children into my life.   I am sure those that knew me were quite surprised because nobody ever saw me with children, and I never talked about them.  I actually had zero experience with kids, as was obvious when I begged my post-partum nurse to teach me over and over again how to change a diaper.  I found that experience didn’t matter in some ways.  I loved that child so much when he was born, even though I had no idea how to really take care of him.   The new focus of my life was to find a way to quit my job so I could be home full time.

Just under two years later, my daughter came along.  We were so thrilled to have a boy and a girl, the world seemed perfect the minute she was born.  Perfection was brief though, because she screamed and cried most hours of the day and night.  Colic is a real bummer, but she was so sweet when she wasn’t howling.  I was working 3 days a week at that point, and was still striving to stay home full time.  Watching these little kids grow was just wonderful.  It was also so interesting to see how both my husband and I grew as people.  Life was busy and crazy, but it was perfect.  Well, almost perfect…

Twenty months later, child number 3 arrived.  If I thought life was crazy before, I was misinformed.  Having 3 kids under 4 definitely had its challenges, but they were good challenges.  I watched my older two play together more and more as I tended to the baby. My husband and I worked out schedules where he would console the baby when he (the baby, not my husband) would get crabby and I would run to bed to sleep for as many hours as possible.  I then took the next shift, and so on.  We were a great team.  I have to say I give single parents all the credit in the world because I don’t know how I could have done it all without an incredibly involved husband.

The years following were pretty standard.  Kid activities, job changes (I stayed home full time after the youngest was born), and more.  We had to deal with the death of family members, divorced family members, illness, job stress, and more.  However, we always trusted in each other, and tried our best to support one another. My husband has changed jobs (for the better) numerous times, and I always was there to tell him to go for it and take the risk.  On the flip side, I would be consumed with worrying about sick family members and trying to take care of the kids, and my husband was always willing to leave work at the drop of a hat if I needed some help.  Even though sort of  had our own roles just because I was at home and he was at work, we were always available to do whatever was needed to help the other person.  There was never “that is your job” or “I am tired and worked all day”.  We have always been a team.

Reflection…

I guess as I think back on these 20 years, they have been amazing.  I truly want for nothing because life is pretty darn great already. Sure, more money would be helpful, but what is really important to me is just the support and love I feel from all the members of my family. These last 18 months or so have been kind of tough for me, but my husband’s devotion never, ever wavered.  He just gave me a shoulder to cry on and never once worried about himself.   Death and sickness are never easy to deal with.  However, you can learn a lot about other people in adversity, and I learned how deeply my husband truly loves his family, and that I can count on him for anything (which I did).  What else I have learned over these years is how truly important it is to be married to someone you truly enjoy.  Humor is such a huge part of our lives, as is just talking to each other.   I love having someone to talk to each night, just to recap some of the smaller parts of the day that maybe weren’t discussed earlier.  Actually, I can’t count how many nights we were up way too late laughing over the dumbest things.  I guess there is just comfort in having someone by your side each day that you have such a long history with, and that  you totally trust.

So, Happy 20th Anniversary!  I love you so much, and I really never knew life could be this good.  You are the best!

 

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

101 Centavos June 21, 2011 at 7:28 am

Happy Anniversary, Kris. Good to hear that you still have fun after all these years. If you can yuck it up in a marriage, it’s just that much stronger. We’ll be hitting the big two-oh in a few years, and life’s never been better.

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Niki June 21, 2011 at 7:31 am

Happy 20th!

Your husband sounds wonderful. I think humor has always gotten us through some tough times.

I can relate about having three kids all very young. My son was born three days before my twin daughters’ second birthday. For three days I had three kids under the age of two, not that anything changed on their second birthday. It was definitely hectic to say the least.

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Nicole June 21, 2011 at 7:34 am

Congratulations! Happy Anniversary!

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First Gen American June 21, 2011 at 9:32 am

This is such a sweet post. I’m so glad you found someone so wonderful to share your life with. I feel the same way about mine. You really do sound like the dream team and I’m glad your life turned out so good. You deserve it. Thanks for being such a great person and friend.

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Buck Inspire June 21, 2011 at 10:54 am

What a beautiful post, made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Thanks for sharing. Happy 20th Anniversary to an amazing couple!

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Husband of Everyday Tips June 21, 2011 at 11:01 am

My wife is the greatest! Thank you for writing such a nice post – I’m looking forward to the next 20 years!

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Kathryn C June 22, 2011 at 1:45 am

Wait….you guys are the cutest. Husband replying to wife’s blog post? unheard of…….I should have married my college sweetheart…. DAMN IT!

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Kathy Garet June 22, 2011 at 7:30 am

Congratulations to you both!

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Greg June 24, 2011 at 8:16 am

Happy anniversary! Time certainly does fly. I always remember your oldest’s birthday, since he was born on the same day that my wife and I got married.

Congrats Dave & Kris! Here’s to many more happy years together!

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MoneyCone June 21, 2011 at 11:35 am

Such a sweet post! Happy anniversary guys!

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krantcents June 21, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Happy Anniversary. This is just one indication how fast time flies by! Make the time count with your husband and children. Before you know it, you are celebrating your fortieth! This August, we celebrate our forty-third anniversary.

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Crystal @ BFS June 21, 2011 at 12:42 pm

AWWWWWW!!! I am all teary-eyed! Congratulations on such a fantastic 20 years!!!

I just saw your hubby’s response and am choked up…the monitor is blurry, lol. I have never even met you two and I bet you are the cutest couple ever!!!

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Squirrelers June 21, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Happy Anniversary to both of you! What a great 20 years it seems like you guys have had.

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Suba June 21, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Awww, Kris! I am all teary-eyed!! Happy Anniversary! Congratulations to you and Husband of Everyday Tips for a great 20 years!

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Miss T @ Prairie Eco-Thrifter June 21, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Congrats Kris. This is awesome. I am so glad you two are still having so much fun. You are an inspiration to me who has only been married a few months shy of 2 years.

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Little House June 21, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Happy 20th anniversary! Awww…What a sweet post. I think that having a spouse you not only love but like is really helpful. 😉 It sounds like your husband is a real trouper and you two have worked together and complimented each other wonderfully. I know that laughing is an important part of a marriage, it helps a couple get over the rough stuff. To another 20 years!

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~ Mona June 21, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Congrats on 20 years! I’ve known my husband for over 20years… We will celebrate our anniversary next month – 17 years.
I’m now following your blog.

~ mona : )

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Kris June 22, 2011 at 7:16 am

Thank you for following Mona, I hope you stay!

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Kay Lynn @ Bucksome Boomer June 21, 2011 at 11:28 pm

Happy Anniversary! Your post is a wonderful tribute to your husband.

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Kris June 22, 2011 at 7:15 am

To everyone- thank you so much for all your wonderful comments! I was a little nervous putting such a personal post out there, but you guys were all so nice!

It is truly shocking how fast the time has gone. So much has happened yet it all seems like yesterday.

Again, thank you all for taking a moment to write and say congrats. It really has been a great 20 years…

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Yes, I Am Cheap June 22, 2011 at 10:17 am

How sweet! I hope that he sees this. And 20 years flies by before you even notice it if you have a great relationship.

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Molly On Money June 22, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Congratulations! My parents had us 3 kids in just over three years and the crazy stories are part of our family lore! You’re braver than I could ever be!

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Lisa @ Cents To SAve June 25, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Congratulations to both of you!!! Wishing you many more years of happiness.

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South County Girl June 25, 2011 at 7:43 pm

I’m getting married in 2 weeks… I can’t wait till we hit 20 years… Congrats to you both!

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karen June 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Amazing!- You are on eof the lucky ones. Many do not last that long. Congrats!

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The Biz of Life June 27, 2011 at 7:49 am

Congratulations! Sticking today this long is an anomaly these days.

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Financial Samurai July 2, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Happy anniversary! How fast has time flown huh?

Hope you have 20 more years of bliss!

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